I got my lungs on November 30th, 2013. I was in the hospital until mid February, because of complications & the condition of my body. Which wasn't very good. But laying in a hospital bed from September to February will do that to you. I had an amazing team of Physical and Occupational Therapists. From the ICU to the main floor, I met so many wonderful & kind people. I feel SO lucky to have had my transplant in Seattle. My transplant surgeon is a genius, & the ICU docs kept me going till I got the call. Although I came pretty close to dying on more than one occasion. I have a couple near death experiences that I remember very well. Almost like they happened yesterday. Ask me sometime if you want to hear about it. I don't think I could even begin to explain it on here.
I learned MANY things in the last year, some good, some bad, but always necessary & worthwhile. For example, love can be incredible. It can make people rise to the occasion of taking care of someone else, through very awkward & tough situations. But it can also be very cruel. It's a lesson I've learned before, & I've always thought that it's the universe putting you back on the path you're supposed to be on. I was reminded of this the hard way, when Morgan and I decided to go our separate ways after I got out of the hospital in February. The details are inconsequential.
After that I had months of horrible depression, couldn't gain weight because I never felt like eating, slept all the time - sometimes all day. I was very sad, that the future WE had planned together had disappeared in a second. We weren't holding hands through life anymore. I had to learn to live through such misery. But as with any complication in life, I got through it. I always do.
*I will say though, that he is someone I will miss having in my life. He was my best friend, & lover for 7 years. No matter how I feel, at least I know he's out there in the world breathing & tumbling through life like everyone else. I only wish good things for him.*
As for my life currently, I am having a BLAST being home, & using these new lungs of mine to expand my life. I'm making it huge, because that's how I want to live. BIG & SHINY! So far it's going pretty well. I'm starting school in Winter or Spring, I'm creating art again, I'm writing, I'm learning how to do things out in the world, & I'm just so incredibly happy! Life really is a miracle, & I'm so lucky to have learned just how much of a miracle it truly is. I learned how incredibly blessed I am to have so many wonderful people in my life. To my family, & my friends, there is NO way I could possibly repay your kindness towards me. Everyone's cards & packages were the things that kept me going, that & prayer. I prayed all the time laying in my hospital bed, & I know I wasn't the only one praying either, so another thank you to everyone that said a prayer for me. I truly have more faith now than I ever did before. I know that I'm supposed to be here, I'm supposed to be Phoebe Mattera. I had the choice to kick it, but I chose to stay.
Best decision I've ever made.