Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My 2011 update

Back again....
So here is the update.

They are NOT replacing my port anymore. Another one would be too complicated to place, and because I have a tendency to clot, they don't want to make any vessel compromised with a port catheter. Peripheral IVs won't work, I need something long lasting. So getting a Picc Line was the suggested option. (click on it to find out what it is) I was really upset about it for awhile, in fact I'm still kind of upset. Mostly because no one indicated that I might not be able to get my port replaced. That was always the plan and then overnight it was different. Plus, they've been telling me for the last decade that I would ALWAYS need a port, and that I had to make sure I took care of it so I'd have it for a long time. That  has serviced me well until now, and I'm at a loss. I've said it before and I will say it again now... I would do ANYTHING for this transplant. This is another instance where my dedication is tested, whether my doctors know it or not. Once again though I find myself having a smooth calm of resolve after processing the latest and greatest of this pre-transplant process. I've come to terms with the fact that my case is very unusual, and that there are things that need to be done. I want ALL of this to go perfectly and smooth, and I'm willing to put myself through a lot in order to do that. So if getting a picc line will insure that my post transplant is easier than I'm going to do it. I've come this far, I might as well go all out, right!? I have a clinic appointment with the surgeon on the 9th. He will be working with my cardiologist in the upcoming surgery. Which by the way is tentatively scheduled for the 22nd of February. I'll be going into the hospital like a week before so I can get a mini clean out and have my picc line placed (shudder)..... I'm thanking myself for postponing it. I'd be in the hospital healing from that surgery right now if I hadn't. BUT....and this bring me to my next subject. I didn't want to spend my 21st birthday (possibly) in the hospital, or at home with a new picc line. I'm sick, but I'm not sick ENOUGH to not celebrate my 21st birthday!
I am so loving the fact that in 1 week I will be 21! My birthday is on Monday the 7th. Finally I'll be able to go to my husbands over 21er shows, or hang out with my family when they go out. It's just really nice that when I turn 21 I can go out past 10 and actually be able to do something other than drive around. It's amazing!! Most of the time I don't really feel any different. But this year I can say with certainty that I am not the same Phoebe who turned 20 last year. I have grown and matured in ways that I hadn't really anticipated. When I was confronted with transplant I had to really analyze my life, and what I wanted for my future. I had to understand/accept some scary truths, and put myself out there in ways I never have. I pushed my limits farther than ever before. I learned that I can do anything, and I mean anything, if I have to. I realized late last February that I didn't have an option about transplant. When I listed in my notebook all the reasons I would want to stick around, it occurred to me that they weren't reasons at all, they were obligations. I wasn't about to bail! I wouldn't dream of it. So, I decided to get a transplant. You've most likely read that blog post though, and if you haven't here's the link. That decision I made a year ago has taken me on a long and crazy journey, this year seems extraordinarily longer than all the years prior. I'll be in the hospital roughly the same time I was in last year, funny how that works.

I have a long way to go still, but if this year is anything like last year, I know it will be epic. At this moment I am unaware of the changes that will take place within my life, but I am thankful for everything that has happened so far. I can't wait to see what happens next.

1 comment:

Azer's Mom said...

Yay for turning 21!!